Tell her she can't have a vagina
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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