YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
