it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
