I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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