remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
