Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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