Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
