alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I need mimosas to revive my soul
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize