Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
i just had sex bonerless
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
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