so that wasnt chicken after all
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
