3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
You ate ashes out of my bong
Randomize
