just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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