So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
