My room smells like vodka and shame
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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