I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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