I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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