It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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