The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
