I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
