Whod you bang
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
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