i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize