He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Randomize
