Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Floor bacon is actually really good
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
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