ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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