1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
