Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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