Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Randomize
