matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Randomize
