O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
