Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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