He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
