hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
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