We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize