I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Randomize
