he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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