There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
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