She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
you never un-have a 4some
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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