wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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