yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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