Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
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