Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
