my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
