i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Randomize