she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
