I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
