dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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