is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Church boner. Awkwardddd
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
