just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I FOUND THE LEGS
Randomize
