What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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