dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
