So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
