Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Randomize
