your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
