a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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