I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
