how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Randomize
