you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
