Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Randomize